o/` o/` Lot's of Curves You Bet, and Even More When You Get ... o/` o/` OR "I thought you meant the road to BENI Hana!!"

If you are old enough to remember the 60s TV show "Petticoat Junction" then you might remember the theme song of the show that included the first part of the title to this blog posting.  The second 1/2 is a take off on the idea of going to somewhere named Hana (i.e. - Beni Hana the Japanese Teppan Yaki Steakhouses).

Hana, Maui is a small, isolated town at the far eastern end of the island.  Maui isn't a BIG island.  It's only 48 miles long and 26 miles wide at its widest part.  So the trip from our hotel in Kahului to Hana is a mere 51 miles.  When you ask how long the 51 miles will take during the daytime, my iPhone said 1 hour 31 minutes.  So you think "Ok, that means you average 33.6 miles per hour.  OK, GOT IT.  It ain't going to be a quick trip."  But let's just say that apparently an iPhone will never be permitted to be a judge in an Olympic Diving competition because apparently they have no understanding of the concept of "Degree of Difficulty."  In other words, there are EASY 51 mile roads where the road is straight with the occasional curve and you are only permitted to go 30 mph so it's going to take you about 1 1/2 hours and then there is the "Road to Hana."  The first 15 miles of the  "Hana Highway" is EASY - 45 mph and flat.  It's the last 35 miles that are virtually beyond belief: 

Below is a picture of part of the island of Maui showing Kahului (where we began our trek) on the left and Hana on the far right of the island. You travel on highways 36 and 360:

These last 35 miles of the "Hana Highway" have well over 600 turns (That's over 17 curves per mile) many of which were tight, hairpin curves.  PLUS It also has almost 60 bridges (most of which are one lane bridges) and all of which have a 10 ton weight limit. PLUS the fact that the road has no shoulders on either side.  On the "coastline" side there is either steep cliffs or guard rails virtually right on the edge of the paved road.  On the "island" side there is virtually always volcanic rock (that has been blasted away to make the road).  It's often so close that when our car was going around a corner, it brushed the foliage growing out of it. PLUS on about 15-20% of the road it is so narrow that there isn't even a center line, because it's only a one lane road with signs that say "YIELD to oncoming traffic."  Given all of that, the POSTED speed limit on the last 35 miles is 15 MILES PER HOUR.  (That was too fast in many instances.)

Below is a 3 minute + YouTube compilation video of some of the videos we took along the way on the "Hana Highway."

The road is so (in)famous that they sell T-shirts like the ones in the picture below:

Personally, I think they should be obligated to give them away!

Well, (in an homage to the movie Jaws 2 and its 'tagline') - "Just when you thought it was safe to get back on the Highway again!"  Two nights later (our last night on the island of Maui) we decided to go around the OTHER end of the island which Irene said had a road which she'd "driven on before" and it was "paved and was a LOT nicer"than the Hana Highway.  Soooo, off we went on highway 30 north out of Lahaina to Kapalua.

Once again practicing the subtle art of "Highway Deception" this road was great for the first 5 miles: paved and even 3 lanes wide with numerous nice bridges.  "PIECE OF CAKE" I'm thinking.  Then, it got worse and worse and WORSE.  To top it ALL off, it was nighttime.  At least on the highway to Hell, er I mean Hana, it was daylight while we were driving on it.  Below is a 1 minute video that Irene took of actually some of the NICER 1 lane road part of it.  At least this part was paved.

So, here's a question for all of our devout readers: Who is it that decides to put their business out in the middle of ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE, Maui, Hawaii.  We were on this road which, by this time, has disintegrated to become a pot hole ridden 1 lane DIRT road --  We are about to drive over a bridge that had a 5 ton weight limit (but we wondered if that was correct) -- and BOOM! right there over the bridge someone has a restaurant.  Bizarre.  Apparently they don't believe in the first 3 cardinal rules of retail business "Location, Location, Location."

The one upside to this trip was we got the most beautiful picture of the full moon I've ever seen.  It is below:

Have a blessed day.